Semester break is always a welcome change of pace without classes, exams, or school deadlines. Time with family and friends is a gift, yet it also presents its own challenges. Whether break comes after your first or last semester, whether your home is just across town or a thousand miles away from campus, and whether or not anyone from home realizes it at first, college changes you. The independence, the responsibility, the daily rhythms, the opportunity to learn both academically and personally all bring growth and new patterns that can make it complicated to slip back into life at home.
I remember some awkward adjustments for me and my parents when I went home on college breaks. The same has been true when my daughters have come home for breaks, too. Sorting out expectations on curfew and checking in about where you are, helping with meals or other household duties, plus the patterns and routines of family life can be tricky.
This week’s gospel reading just happens to give us a glimpse at some similar challenges for Jesus’ family. The setting has moved ahead some years from the stable at Bethlehem, recounting what amounts to a first century road trip with extended family and friends. They traveled to visit the temple in Jerusalem for the religious holiday of Passover. Jesus was 12 (very nearly an adult in his culture). Somehow, when the group started back home, Jesus was left behind, but his parents didn’t realize it until they’d traveled a full day. They probably assumed he was ahead with his cousins or in another part of the group. When they realized he was not among the group, his anxious parents hurried back Jerusalem. After three days of looking, they found him in the temple with the teachers, listening and asking questions. The people who heard him were “amazed at his understanding and his answers.” When his parents scolded Jesus for his behavior and the panic he caused them, he responded, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” Cheeky answer, even from the son of God.
I have some empathy for the parents here. I’ve lost a child for short periods of time and it is a panic-inducing experience. I’ve been on both sides of this kind of parent/child “What were you thinking!?” conversation. Yet, Jesus has clearly been growing and learning and becoming more than his parents have realized. He has abilities and insights and confidence they hadn’t noticed. The tiny baby and young child is long gone. The time has come for them to see the adult he is becoming.
Sound familiar? Every family has to make their way through the many transitions as the children move from child to youth to adult. There will always be moments of conflict and misunderstanding. There are times when those in the older generation can’t see that the younger ones are no longer children and can take on roles and responsibilities of adults in the family. There are also times when the younger ones would just like to be like children again and take a break from adulting.
We all make our way through these kinds of challenges. Families are a gift, though none of them are perfect. Our families provide a place to grow and learn and be cared for, as well as a place that will present challenges and conflict and hurt. Families are the people who accompany us through life, who not only share our joys and our sorrows, but also cause some of our joys and sorrows, too. If you are feeling a little overwhelmed or weary of family time just now, you are not alone. If you are wishing time like this with family never had to end, you also are not alone.
Peace to you and yours!
Weekly Prayer | Luke 2 story of Jesus and his parents in Jerusalem