What three things did you like and what one thing would you change? At the end of a vacation, a visit to family & friends, or a trip, my family takes turns answering this question, sharing reflections about the experience. We all listen while each person answers, often nodding in agreement, laughing over a funny moment, or exclaiming at the reminder of something others enjoyed, too. We don’t judge or debate; everyone simply shares their own list. I started asking this question in an attempt to distract restless and surly kids on the long drive home, but over the years it has become a regular part of our travel.
For longer trips, the number of “things you like” goes up to five. Sometimes nobody actually keeps count. I ask for specific answers rather than generalities (“the ice cream at Sugar Bowl” rather than “all the good food”). We’re not trying to build a comprehensive list of everything good, but to hear a sampling of the things that we enjoyed. By including one thing to change, we acknowledge that no trip or family adventure is perfect, and I’ve found it is surprisingly helpful to simply name what was hard or disappointing. Once in a while, someone doesn’t have anything they’d change.
Summer is coming to an end and a whole new year is beginning. In times of transition it is good to pause and reflect a bit. It helps us pay attention for growth and discovery, helping us notice what matters. While you pack for returning to school or as you drive back to college, consider what 3 or 5 things you liked this summer and what one thing you would change. Share your answers with someone and ask them the same. Maybe think deeper and consider what you learned about the world this summer and also what you learned about yourself.
I hope that your summer was rich and full and that there were way more than 5 things you liked. I also hope that the things you would change were few and easy to overcome. As we move into the start of the new year, may this time of transition be smooth. May you find caring support and many opportunities. May this be a year that holds the best kinds of learning and growth for us all.
Peace,
Alicia