envious

Are you envious because I am generous?  Yes.  I guess I am.

Jesus told a parable about the kingdom of heaven.  A landowner had a vineyard and went to the marketplace to find day laborers to work.  He hired a bunch, agreeing to pay the usual daily wage, and they went to work in the vineyard.  Mid-morning, the landowner saw others idle in the marketplace and sent them to work in the vineyard, telling them, “I will pay you what is right.”  He did this again at noon and mid-afternoon.  Just an hour before the day ended, he went into the marketplace again, saw others in the market and asked, “Why are you standing here idle all day?” They responded, “Because no one has hired us.”  He sent them into the vineyard to work, too.

When the day ended, pay was handed out to the final work crew first. When were paid a full day’s wage, the first workers saw this and expected they’d receive more, but they were paid the same as all the others.  The first workers grumbled, complaining that those who were hired last were being “made equal to us” when they were a full day’s wage for just one hour’s work.  The landowner responded that he had paid the agreed upon wage and asked, “Are you envious because I am generous?”

I am always struck by that question.  I like the way it is worded, and I like the way it cuts to the heart of the matter.  God is generous and that can be a problem for us.  Sometimes I AM envious because God is generous.  Maybe I want God’s generosity all to myself.

In this parable, when the landowner goes to the marketplace to hire day-laborers, he is going to the place where employers and those seeking work meet.  The workers are hoping to get a job for the day, and along with it, wages that will feed their families for another day. These are people living at the edge of subsistence.  If they work, they eat.  If they don’t work, they and their family will go hungry.  When the landowner keeps returning to the market and hiring additional workers throughout the day, he is making it possible for those workers to earn a living. When he pays them all a full day’s wage, all the workers can feed their families.  It is a powerful statement about generosity and care for those in the community.  This kind of generosity appeals to me . . . most of the time.  Yet there are times when I grumble and complain like the full-day workers in the parable.

It can be hard when this kind of generosity is less abstract and closer to home.  As kids we have the impulse to complain, “it’s not fair” when our siblings or other kids in the neighborhood receive some advantage.  I have vivid memories of complaining to my mom about the money my parents spent to buy glasses for my sister.  They didn’t need to buy me glasses.  It wasn’t fair.  My mom pointed out that while that was true, there were other medical costs for me that my parents provided.  It wasn’t fair, but we each received what we needed.  Years later, that encounter comes to mind each time I hear “are you envious because I am generous?” Yes, I am envious.  I haven’t fully outgrown it.

God is generous.  We humans are likely to be petty and whiny if others seem to get something we ourselves do not.  It’s not fair, we think.  But God’s accounting is so very different from ours.  None of us have earned the abundant gifts we receive from God who gives us life and everything in it.  Every day, we all receive so much from God’s generosity that we simply have no reason to complain.

This parable, with its vineyard and workers and persistently generous landowner, reminds me to be grateful for all the generosity in my life. And it reminds me that I am still in the midst of outgrowing the childish selfishness that leads me to say (or think) it is unfair when someone gets more than I think they deserve, or I get less than I think I deserve.  It is a life long process, but I’m getting there.

Peace,

Alicia

Weekly Prayer Matthew 20:1-16

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